Some wounds go deep, and the people who caused them rarely make it easy. Bitterness feels like justice, like holding the offender to account. But in truth, unforgiveness chains you to the very person who hurt you. God calls you to a better, freer way, and He gives the grace to walk in it.
God commands us to forgive
Forgiveness is not optional for the believer, because we have been forgiven so much ourselves.
"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."Ephesians 4:32
"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."Matthew 6:14
What forgiveness is and is not
Forgiveness does not mean the wrong did not matter or that trust is instantly restored. It means you release your right to revenge and hand the matter to a God who judges rightly.
"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves... for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."Romans 12:19
Why bitterness must go
Held long enough, bitterness poisons the one who carries it and spreads to everyone nearby.
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice."Ephesians 4:31
How to actually forgive
- Remember how much you were forgiven. Christ's mercy to you fuels mercy to others.
- Choose it before you feel it. Forgiveness is a decision, and the feelings follow.
- Hand the justice to God. You do not have to settle the score; He will.
- Pray for the person. It is hard to stay bitter toward someone you pray for.
Freedom is on the other side
Forgiveness is not weakness. It is one of the strongest, most Christlike things a person can do, and it sets you free. If you are wrestling to let go of a deep hurt, you do not have to do it alone. Reach out to us. We will point you to God's Word and pray with you toward real freedom.